Part 2: How People Managers Can Actually Support Parental Leave
Most managers figure out parental leave on their own. There's no training, no playbook handed to them, no one sitting them down and saying: here's what to do when someone on your team tells you they're going on leave. They absorb the burden, white-knuckle it through the coverage gap, and hope for the best.
That's not good enough. And it doesn't have to be that way.
This post is a follow-up to the Four Pillars of Parental Leave series and the companion piece on what HR leaders can do to improve parental leave at the organizational level. This one is specifically for the people in the room when someone announces they're going on leave. The managers. The team leads. The people who have to hold it together while someone they depend on is away -- and welcome them back when they return.
Watch the full conversation with Dr. Amy Beacom, founder and CEO of the Center for Parental Leave Leadership and author of The Parental Leave Playbook. Read below for a recap of what stood out.
Managers Have More Power Over the Leave Experience Than They Realize
You are not just a bystander to parental leave policy. You are the person who makes it real -- or doesn't.
Amy is direct about this: managers are the interpreters of policy. The way you respond when someone announces their leave, the tone you set in that first conversation, the way you show up for them over the following months -- that has an outsized impact on whether the leave experience is a positive one or a damaging one.
“The manager is the interpreter of policy. The way that manager makes it come alive to their team — that’s advocacy.”
She shared a story that stuck with me. A manager at a San Francisco company made a habit of walking over to a returning new mom's desk every day at 5 p.m. and walking out with her. Every single day, for three months. It cost him nothing. But it sent a message to everyone in that room about what kind of workplace they were in.
That's culture. And it starts with managers deciding to show up that way.
One more thing worth saying: don't be the hero who covers the gaps silently. If coverage is painful and you're burning yourself out to make it work, let that pain be felt. Those friction points are what drive organizational change. Absorbing them quietly ensures nothing ever improves.
The Three Conversations Managers Should Have Before an Employee Goes on Parental Leave
Amy's framework for the pre-leave period comes down to three conversations, each serving a distinct purpose.
1. The announcement conversation
Your only job in this moment is to be human. Congratulate them. Tell them you've got their back. Do not jump straight into logistics -- save that for the next conversation. The tone you set in that first response matters more than most managers realize. A reaction that signals stress or inconvenience can shape an employee's entire leave experience.
2. The transition planning conversation
This is where you get into the structure. Map out the three phases together -- preparing, during, and returning. Set up your check-ins for the whole year, not just the last two weeks before they leave. Start thinking about coverage. Start talking about what the return will look like, because the best time to plan a return is before the person has left.
3. The pre-departure conversation
A final check-in before they go: is everything in place? Is the coverage ready? Does anything need adjusting? Then mirror this with a conversation when they return -- because the plans you made six weeks ago may not reflect the reality of a new baby, limited sleep, and a changed set of priorities.
How to Plan Parental Leave Coverage Without Burning Out Your Team
Coverage planning without adequate resources always creates strain. That's not a character flaw -- it's math. Here's how to approach it more intentionally:
Audit the role honestly. What actually needs to be done while this person is out? What can pause? What can be redistributed as a development opportunity for someone else? What genuinely needs external cover?
Don't default to heroics. If you white-knuckle through one leave, the next one will be harder -- and there will likely be a next one. Build the structure instead of absorbing the cost yourself.
Acknowledge the extra load. If your team takes on additional work, recognize it. In one-on-ones. In performance reviews. The fastest path to burnout isn't extra work -- it's extra work that goes unacknowledged.
Advocate upward. If coverage is consistently painful, bring that to HR. Managers are the ones closest to what's actually happening. That information needs to reach the people who can change the infrastructure.
It’s worth pointing out that teams are leaner than they've ever been. Even a 12-week coverage gap can create significant burnout if it isn't planned for. And the cost shows up somewhere -- whether that's in turnover, healthcare claims, or your own team going out on stress leave after the fact.
What a Strong Return From Parental Leave Looks Like
The return is where most organizations lose the plot. The employee is back, so things go back to normal -- right?
Wrong. The person returning is not the same person who left. That's not a problem. It's just reality. And treating the return like a switch being flipped back on is one of the most common and damaging mistakes managers make.
Approach it like a re-onboarding
Amy's advice: bring the same curiosity you'd bring to onboarding a new hire. Ask what they want to pick back up first. Find out what's energizing them right now. Don't assume they've lost ambition or no longer want challenging work. Ask -- and be open to what you hear.
Keep a regular check-in cadence
Week two. Month one. Month two. The employee's life is changing rapidly -- their child is growing, their sleep situation is shifting, their sense of what they need at work is evolving. Regular check-ins let you adjust in real time instead of waiting for something to go wrong.
Don't avoid the human conversations
How's the pumping situation working out? Is the schedule holding? Are they getting what they need? These conversations feel awkward to some managers. Have them anyway. Pretending work and home are separate silos doesn't make it true -- it just makes managers less useful.
Make it clear they were missed
Tell them they were missed. That their work is still visible. That the team didn't move on without them. A lot of returning parents are more anxious about their value and relevance than their managers realize. A little reassurance goes a long way.
Frequently Asked Questions: Managing Parental Leave
What should a manager say when an employee announces parental leave?
Lead with congratulations and genuine support. Something like: 'I'm so excited for you. We're going to figure this out together -- you don't need to worry.' Avoid jumping straight into logistics in that first conversation. Set the tone that this is a supported transition, not an inconvenience. Save the planning conversations for dedicated follow-up meetings.
How can managers support employees returning from parental leave?
Treat the return like a re-onboarding. Ask what they want to pick back up first. Maintain regular check-ins through the first 30 to 60 days. Don't assume they've lost ambition or changed their career goals -- ask. Make it clear they were missed and that their contributions are still valued. Avoid reassigning their work permanently without a conversation.
How do managers handle parental leave coverage without burning out the team?
Start with an honest audit of the role: what can pause, what can be redistributed as development, and what genuinely needs external support. Acknowledge the extra load your team takes on -- in one-on-ones and in performance conversations. Don't try to absorb the burden yourself or expect the team to do it silently. And if coverage is consistently painful, escalate that to HR. That information needs to reach the people who can change it.
What is the 'boss lottery' in parental leave?
The boss lottery refers to the significant variation in parental leave experience that comes down to which manager an employee happens to have. A supportive manager can make a difficult leave policy feel manageable. An unsupportive one can make a generous policy feel hostile. The goal -- as Dr. Amy Beacom puts it -- is to make the lottery winnable for more people by training managers on what good leave support actually looks like.
How can managers become advocates for better parental leave practices?
In small ways: by setting the tone for their own team, making coverage pain visible rather than absorbing it silently, and advocating for the employee while they're away (keeping them visible in conversations, protecting their projects). In bigger ways: by going to HR and asking for manager training, structured guidance, and a repeatable process -- so every employee on every team has the same shot at a supported leave experience.
For the organizational and HR leadership side of this conversation, read: How HR Leaders Can Turn Parental Leave Policy Into Practice.
And if you want the full framework, start with the Four Pillars of Parental Leave to build the full picture.
At Mother Cover, we help companies build leave programs that actually work—from sourcing interim and fractional backfill talent to guiding leaders through transitions with confidence. Because parental leave doesn’t need to be a career or team setback.
🌱 Temporary leave. Not permanent setbacks.
→ Need support for an upcoming leave? Let’s talk.
